Funny Or Die Spoofs Chevron Again In 'Anatomy Of A Greenwash' (VIDEO)

"Actually, tar naturally seeps up on many California beaches."
==========­==========­==========­=====

Let me first dispense with this idea that what is "natural" equates to 'good' or 'healthy' or even commonly occurring.

Botulism is natural, anthrax is natural, automobile accidents are natural, rabies in bats is natural, dogs eating their own feces is natural, but none are good or healthy or phenomena that we'd like to see or create more of.

Now, to the "seepage" versus  G U S H I N G  (what happened in the Deepwater Horizon blowout):

Small quantities of oil do "seep" when enough cracks and fissures form above a reservoir.  Oceans have an ability, limited, to deal with oil that 'seeps' out slowly and is widely dispersed.  Oceans do not have the capability of accommodating massive amounts of oil  G U S H I N G in one place; marine ecosystems can't cope with that kind of assault.

Oil from natural "seeps" normally stays in the water for between 10 hours and 5 days.  The area around seeps don't have any great effect on the surrounding biological communities.  The animals living around seeps haven't needed to evolve in order to survive in the environment.  

In that time that natural "seeps" normally stay in the water, those molecules that easily can be broken down are broken down, leaving behind the remaining, heavier oil.  This heavier oil consists mostly of larger compounds that are more difficult to dissolve, evaporate or be digested by microbes.  These molecules sink to the floor.

An analysis of sediment samples from different areas around a natural seep revealed a consistent rate of hydrocarbon loss in the oil that eventually sank.  This indicates that there is an upper limit to how much oil can be broken down by natural forces in the ocean.  

Hence, the difference between 'seeps' and  G U S H I N G  (or more the more politically quaint and deceitful: 'Spills').  

KEEP READING
About Funny Or Die
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost